First a “shout-out” to Julien over at jambonsoliveras.com for being the only contributor today. I was awoken around 4:00 am this morning by my smoke alarm which scared the living heck out of me. I sprang from my bed to find my living-room and kitchen completely engulfed with dense smoke. I could smell plastic burning somewhere but I couldn’t tell where. So I quickly grab my phone and fire extinguisher, and start searching for where this was coming from.
I found that my foot-stool near my coffee table smoldering and in the middle of it was my television remote control.
It somehow spontaneously combusted and started the footstool on fire.
So with fire extinguisher in hand, I pull the pin, point the nozzle, and squeeze the trigger. Nothing comes out.
Now I’m in full panic mode. I quickly remember that I had a bucket of snow I had brought inside to melt to use as grey water. (I am still without running water) So I grab that and douse the foot-stool down. Which inevitably caused more smoke. But at least the fire was contained.
Like a fool I had reached down for the remote control, which was still a mess of melting goop, and the melting plastic stuck to my hand like napalm. I grabbed the foot-stool from the bottom and took it outside and threw it in the snow. I then stuck my hand in the snow to help with the burn. It’s not too bad. I’ll live.
Then I spent the next 2 hours trying to clear the house of smoke. After a couple of failed attempts at just opening the windows didn’t work, I got creative. I closed all the windows except for a tiny one in the back of the house and turned on the oven’s overhead fan, and it eventually sucked all the smoke out.
By the time I got all the smoke out, I had to get ready to go catch the bus for my joyful day of doctors visits and the unwanted sight seeing tour of every bus stop around town.
I got home just in time to see the mailman drive off, so I collected my mail and headed towards my house. The bus lets me off a couple blocks away, and my mailbox is in the path of walking home it’s not attached to my house. It’s in a large bank of mailboxes.
Now I’m at my front door after a really LONG day and just want to go in and get comfortable and relax. But no. While I was gone it decided to toss some freezing rain on us and completely covered my door lock with about an inch of ice. It took me almost 20 minutes just to get inside. I was furious by this time.
I open my mail and find a notice that if I don’t pay the county something like $419 dollars in back property taxes within the next 20 days, they will put my house up for auction.
Now I’m doing my best to remain positive but today is one of those days where you just want the whole world to slow down for a minute so you can catch your breath. I’ve always had bad luck. I’ve accepted that, but today it seemed like the whole world was against me.
I’m not even going to ask for contributions today. I think I might just go to bed.
Tune in tomorrow
~ ChuckRoast
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